Betrayed by her boyfriend in revenge porn nightmare

Hazel was head over heels in love when she shared an intimate video with her boyfriend. She had no idea he would betray her trust just months later.

I will never forget the summer of 2013. I was 23 years-old. I’d not long split up with my boyfriend of 10 months and I was sitting in a park having a picnic with my friends thinking about my future and looking to put the past behind me.

I glanced down at my phone to see I’d been sent lots of Facebook friend requests. When I looked to see who they were from I realised they were all men, strange men I’d never met or even heard of.

It was only when I checked the messages in my ‘others’ folder that dread began to fill my body. The messages were rude, some unbelievably crude, strangers describing what they wanted to do to me.

There were also messages from men warning me that ‘my video’ had been ‘leaked’ with attached links so I could find it. I googled my name and there it was, page after page, site after site. In big capital letters all I could see was my name, my full name, accompanied with insulting tags. I felt dirty and disgusted. How could he do this to me?

When I first got with my boyfriend, I was infatuated. He asked me to do a little video for him for ‘when we were apart’. I eventually agreed. The video was quickly forgotten about and that was that.

Our relationship broke down some months later as I discovered him to be very manipulative. He said he would post the video online but I didn’t believe him. I didn’t think he or anyone could be that cruel. I even doubted that he was responsible when it did come out.

My nightmare continued over the next few weeks as the video went viral. It was re-posted by people across the world and I would have about 30 strangers message me every day. It took a long time but I contacted the websites directly and explained what had happened and to my relief, one by one the videos were being taken down.

Was I wrong to share the video with my then boyfriend? At the time no. I trusted him and never believed he would ever take revenge on me in such a hurtful way.

Would I send photos to a new boyfriend? I have been asked and I confidently explain why I’d rather not. I have only ever received positive responses. I am respected for that decision.

However, I do believe that if someone wishes to share such images then there should be nothing wrong with that, provided you are of a legal age and there is complete trust. The receiver respects and understands the consequences they can face if they break this trust and the law.

I’ve since campaigned alongside MPs for revenge porn to become a crime and in 2015 it became illegal to distribute a private sexual image of someone without their consent and with the intention of causing them distress.

It covers images posted to social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter as well as those that are shared via text message and carried a maximum sentence of two years’ imprisonment.

I’ve shared my story in schools and been shocked at the number of people who have not only sent or received images or videos but how many have become a victim when their personal images have been shared online.

Please don’t suffer alone. There is help available.

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