I am a burglar, it’s what I do. Houses, sheds, garages. I’m not bothered what I break into, as long as there’s something to steal and I don’t get caught. I’ve been caught before, a few times and I’ve been to prison. I didn’t like jail and I don’t want to go back there, but I’m a burglar, it’s what I do.
What am I looking for you may ask? Easy targets, I don’t want to spend ages trying to get in to a house and not managing it, and I don’t want to get caught, so if there’s someone at home I’ll go to the house where there’s nobody. That house over there looks like an easy target, there’s a nice high hedge which I can hide behind and nobody can see me from the road and wonder what I’m up to. There’s no car on the drive and the curtains are open. The lights are all off and it’s nine o’clock at night, they must all be out, but for how long? I might come back tomorrow and see if it’s the same, they’re probably on holiday.
I really don’t want to bump into anyone in the house, I don’t want anyone calling the police on me. Some people are getting too clever nowadays and trying to fool us by making their house look like they’re in when they’re not. Putting things like timers on their lights and these devices that flash and make it look like there’s a telly on in the house. Well they put me off. If I’m not sure I can’t take the risk. I’ll go somewhere else.
The places I really avoid are those that have alarms and CCTV. If someone has gone to the trouble of putting those in they really have protected their house and I reckon they will also have made sure that the locks on the doors and windows are strong. Even worse if they’ve got locked gates so I can’t get around the back of the house.
I really hate those busybody Neighbourhood Watch types. Are they trying to gang up on me or something? I hate it when people are looking out of their windows and watching what I’m up to, signs and stickers advertising Neighbourhood Watch really put me off. Dogs don’t bother me though. I’m ok with dogs and anyone who thinks that just because they’ve got a big dog they don’t even need to lock their doors has got another thing coming.
Sometimes I’ll just try my luck and walk up to doors and try them. If they aren’t locked, bonus, I’ll just walk in and help myself. If there’s someone there I’ll make up a rubbish excuse, something like “Sorry, I thought this was my mate John’s house” and walk away.
Usually though I have to break in, I do that by prising the window or door with the short crow bar that I carry down my trousers. It’s difficult to prise open a door or a window with a load of dead locks on it. Easy though if they’ve left the key in the door – just break the glass and turn the key.
I’ll nick anything but I really want stuff that I can get rid of easily; jewellery and cash mainly, and I know where to find them. They’re in the master bedroom. People put them there because they think they are safe. They think “If we get broken into, they won’t be able to steal our jewellery because they’ll wake us up if they try to get into our bedroom”. Well I’m not going to break in while you’re at home am I?
Sometimes, if I can’t get into the house I’ll have a look in the shed, it’s amazing what people will leave in there. I stole a bike the other day and got £300 for it. I reckon it was really worth two grand but some people want big discounts if the stuff’s stolen. But all the shed had on it was a cheap padlock. I can’t believe it sometimes. People will spend two grand on a bike, then stick it in a shed with a £5 padlock. Easy meat for the pair of bolt croppers I’ve got in my coat.
My life is getting harder though. The police keep on telling people to make sure they have good locks on their doors and join Neighbourhood Watch. Whatever next, anyone would think that they didn’t want to get their houses burgled.
This article is not the words of one burglar but of many. It is written from genuine conversations with experienced detectives that have interviewed many burglars and these are the things they have told them.
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